QotM*: Disease Ridden Vampiric Apocalypse

*Question of the Month is an pack of Oreos that you didn’t know you had, hidden in the back of the cupboard by Later Levels

It’s still April and I can still get in on this… right? This month’s question is diabolically intricate and provided by Nathan over at Hurricane Thought Process. Nathan hasn’t just asked one question, he’s asked a stunning One-Hundred and Forty Three Questions! (The Asteroid of Killer Tomatoes being sadly invalid due to February’s length). Luckily for you all I only have to answer one of these as dictated by my birthday, but for all of you curious wombats, and those who just want to check out the other answers, makes sure you drift on over to the “Post of Masterfulness“!

Which Three Video Game Characters Would I Pick to Help Me Survive an Apocalypse of Diseased Vampires?

Diseased vampires sound like bad news; heck, vampires sound like bad news and assuming that the vampires are suffering from something other than the common cold it can only be assumed that they’ll be even more dangerous when diseased. I was going to use my own imagination and describe the disease for you, but it all got too icky, so I’ll just say I’m assuming that if you are so much as scratched by these night walkers then you can look forward to an oozy demise over about 24 hours, possibly with some sort of rash and a bit of a cough.

Given a vampire’s normal reputation for strength and speed it’s tricky to imagine how I’m making it out of this one alive regardless of who I’ve got at my side to boost the odds. Luckily there is one small silver lining; they’re vampires. According to universal standard vampire rules these betoothed beings only come out at night and any exposure to daylight results in instant incineration, presumably with an element of self-decontamination. With this in mind I began to carefully assemble my super-team of apocalypse survivors:

Rebecca Chambers – Resident Evil

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Oh, look at that, I’ve picked a Resident Evil character… which comes as no surprise to anyone familiar with my gaming favourites list. The big surprise is that it’s not my normal pick of the more charismatic Redfield sibling. In this case however Rebecca is clearly the best S.T.A.R.S. member for the gig because in the case of infection we’re going to need someone with medical training. Rebecca has been known to deploy the odd experimental serum on occasion and even manage to whip it up under pressure. Into the bargain are the bonus points that she’s familiar enough with any number of monstrous beings that a few ill vampires won’t disturb her too much and she’s also handy in a fight should it come down to it.

The Engineer – Team Fortress 2

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I guess the natural stance would be to go on the offensive, but against hoards of infected vampires I just don’t think that combat is the answer. Instead why not hunker down in a  base protected but automated machine guns & rocket launchers with an infinite supply station and even some teleport capability should we need to run out to the shops from time to time. The engineer has a cool head and can throw up contraptions whilst under fire with just the tap of his faithful wrench making him the ideal choice to lead our stronghold strategy… and when the night draws in and it’s too quiet outside, who better to sooth our souls with a gentle sing-song around the fire to his softly strummed guitar.

Mario – Super Mario Sunshine

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Being trapped in a base for twelve hours a day with Mario would be pretty hard to take. The constant proclamations of “It’s a Meeeee” would undoubtedly grate on my nerves (presumably worn pretty thin from the vampires at the door). He’d be perpetually cheery and there’s a good chance that I’d convince Rebecca to slip him a sedative from time to time just to get a break. He does however have one big advantage, he literally collects suns; a plumber with the power to… on demand… produce sunshine by just popping one of the shines he’s collected out of his dungarees pocket has to be the ultimate in vampire deterrent technology… right?

So what do you think about my choices?

8 thoughts on “QotM*: Disease Ridden Vampiric Apocalypse

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